The FBI wants my body

Holy shit Batman, the FBI wants my DNA, fingerprints, palm prints, ear prints, eye scan, tattoo map and for all I know my butt print. Of all of these I am willing to give them one, if they’ll kiss it that is.

I have never been arrested and, while I may have a file deep in the bowels of some Federal building basement for a few things I may have said in my youth, I have done nothing that would warrant having all of that information about me in some huge database. So, why should I have to submit to all of this?

The FBI says they want the information to better fight terrorism. I am sure there are millions of people in this country who are willing to give up another chunk of privacy just to feel safe. They are the ones who support warantless wire tapping and the ceding of other civil liberties all to feel safe.

Safe from what?

Terrorists?

Illegal immigrants?

The boogie man?

All of the above?

Why do we have to resort to this type of invasion of privacy and abridgment of civil liberties? How is this information going to make it easier to catch the bad guys? You won’t be able to collect the data until you’ve caught them doing something wrong. You don’t think they are going to voluntarily stand in line to have their data taken do you?

So, you say, let’s get the information when they enter the country. Yep, every terrorist or illegal immigrant will enter the country through a formal port of entry. Or, are we going to set up monitoring stations every mile or so along the entire border, land and sea, and get the data from everyone trying to sneak in.

No, the only people who are going to be in the data base are criminals already in the system and law abiding people who will march like sheep to be measured, inked and generally abused. Just another civil liberty down the toilet.

SOTU or STFU

So much for his legacy. In a speech that should have set the course for bold new programs for his final year in office, President Bush came up with a rehash of recycled and failed policies.

There was nothing new.

There was nothing bold.

It was just the same old shit.

Stay the course in Iraq. We are winning. After five years of fighting Al-Qaeda is on the run. That’s what Lyndon Johnson told us about Vietnam in 1967. And the cities outside of Baghdad are still not secured and the death toll continues to mount.

Don’t mess with my recession relief package. Same old bull headed, let’s not talk about bipartisan compromise; it’s my way or the highway attitude we’ve seen for the last seven years.

Take out the pork. He’s going to veto spending bills that do not drop fifty percent of the earmarked funding they contain. Wonder which party gets to keep their funds in place.

Host the annual meeting with the leaders of Canada and Mexico in New Orleans to show off the recovery efforts. I wonder if he’ll take them to the ninth ward. I wonder if the leaders can keep from laughing at the joke.

Provide technological support to developing countries to slow down their emissions of greenhouse gases. Where are the programs for cutting greenhouse gases in the country that is the largest contributor to the problem?

He has no new ideas on solving the health care, social security problem. He will let congress come up solutions that he can veto.

So that’s it. There were of course other wishes. None made with any real commitment or belief that they will come to pass. It’s like the man has given up. He’s decided that it will be okay to leave office as the most unpopular and ineffective president in history. So much so that he is leaving Washington for a barnstorming tour to raise money for other Republican candidates. There are deluded Republicans out there that still support him and all that he stands for.

The most interesting part of the whole State of the Union event was the response of Republicans to Kathleen Sebellius’ Democratic response to the speech. The governor took the high ground calling an end to the “politics of exhaustion” and noting the recession relief package as an example encouraging bi-partisan efforts to solve the nation’s problems.

Typical of their attack mentality, Republicans ignored what the governor had to say and made personal attacks against her. As is usual, they accused her of being nothing less than being a lying, cheating tax and spend liberal who has taken her state into the depths of depravity. They even decried her recent photograph in Vogue as proof of her two faced nature. Interesting that the two Republicans not toeing the party line were the two senators from Kansas who ignored the mud and had only nice things to say about the content of the speech.

So we are off to a good start. We continue to have a President who gives every indication that as usual he is not interested in compromise and a Republican party more interested in spreading dirt than in solving the critical issues that face the country. It’s going to be another do nothing year.

Going to Hell

I’m going to Hell. At least that’s what the Catholic Church is going to say if any over sensitive priest, Bishop, Archbishop, Cardinal or member of some tight assed Catholic organization reads this.

Freedom of speech is apparently a concept that the church has never heard of or chooses to ignore. Twice in the past week or so they have gotten their albs in a bunch over something someone has said publicly that runs counter to their dogma. Strangely they both happened in the world of sports.

First basketball coach Rick Majerus got in trouble with the Archbishop of St. Louis for stating that he is pro choice and supports stem cell research. The sin of this is that Majerus said this when he is the coach of St. Louis University, a Jesuit institution. Of course the right to choose and stem cell research are anathema. So now the Archbishop wants the university to discipline Majerus for not parroting the company line.

This whole thing is patently ridiculous. Majerus, who is Catholic, was not representing the university or the Catholic Church when he made these comments. In addition, the university does not answer to the St. Louis diocese. Why then should the Church demand action? Why can’t a private citizen, no matter where he works, or whatever religion he belongs to, be free to state an opinion that runs counter to what the church believes? If the Church checked they’d probably find a significant number of students and members of the St Louis faculty share the same opinions and have stated them publicly. Should they all be censured as well?

In the second instance Dana Jacobson, co-host of ESPN 2's "First Take,” has been disciplined by the network for derogatory remarks she made about Notre Dame and the mosaic overlooking there football stadium that is commonly called Touchdown Jesus. She is reported to have said “Fuck Notre Dame” and “Fuck Touchdown Jesus” while attending a private roast for two ESPN personalities.

The choice of words may have been a little blunt but the fact is that more people than not are not big fans of (read that hate) Notre Dame. In addition, many find the mosaic and what it popularly stands for in poor taste if not sacrilegious. It doesn’t matter to the Church, they want Jacobson punished. And ESPN has caved to these demands and has punished her with a suspension.

Jacobsen probably regrets her statement. I know she has apologized and she seems to be contrite. Why then should she be punished further? I thought contrition led to forgiveness.

As for Majerus, he stands by his statements and his right as a citizen to express them freely. No word yet if the university is going to support him or cave to the demands of the Archbishop. Let’s hope that they have more courage than ESPN.

Happy Birthday Cranky

Thank you grandma, for giving birth to the old man on a very easy day to remember.

Debait, Third Grade Style

Excerpts from the Democratic debate in South Carolina;

Obama: “You lied when you said it.”

Clinton: “Oh yea? Says you.”

Obama: “No, says you.”

Clinton: “No way, you said it first.”

Obama: “Did not.”

Clinton: “Did too.”

Obama: “What if I did?”

Clinton: “I’m going to have Bill take care of you.”

Obama: “No fair.”

Clinton: “Yes fair.”

Obama: “That’s cheating.”

Clinton: “Is not.”

Obama: “Is too.”“He carries too much weight and is an unfair advantage. I’ll sic Teddy on both of you.”

Clinton: “So what? My Bill can whip your Teddy anytime?”

Obama: “He keeps telling lies and denigrating me.”

Clinton: “No way.”

Obama: “Yes way. He called me young, thoughtful and African American.”

Clinton: “So what? You are aren’t you?”

Obama: “Well yea, I guess.”

Clinton: “Then what’s the problem.”

Obama: “He said it, that’s all.”

Clinton: “So what?”

Obama: “It’s how he said it that matters.”

Clinton: “How did he say it that’s so bad?”

Obama: “He said it with a straight face. He made it sound like he was complimenting me”

Obama: “He was.”

Clinton: “Was not.”

Obama: “Was too.”

Clinton: “Was not!”

Obama: “Was too!”

Moderator: “If we could begin with our first question.”

Strike Three

In a bold move to solve many of the major issues facing this country, Representative Henry Waxman of California has called upon his House Oversight Committee to investigate the use of steroids in baseball. Waxman has stated that, if he can resolve the steroid issue, the economy and the war in Iraq will take care of themselves.

Waxman is quoted as saying that “It is not within the purview of this committee to worry about Iraq or the economy directly. However, our little group, operating in the backwash of the legislative process, feels that if we can solve the steroid problem in a game that symbolizes all that is good about this country we will establish a template for the resolution of other problems facing this nation.”

Many on the committee expressed feelings similar to Representative Waxman’s. Ranking minority member Tom Davis of Virginia is of the opinion that,” as a back bench member of Congress, this is my first chance in the national spotlight. This is really my first chance to be on the national stage. Besides, who knows? These hearings may set the stage for the solution of a broader sense of issues.”

When asked how the hearings were going to play in her home district, Democrat Carolyn B. Maloney of New York felt that anything that got her name in the papers would go a long way toward helping her reelection in November. “Many of my constituents are Yankee fans, and they want to see this issue resolved even if it seems that we are treading where many people feel we have no right to go. That hasn’t stopped committees in the past.”

Democratic member of the committee and presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich of Ohio was conspicuously absent from the first day’s hearings. When reached for comment he stated, “I am having enough trouble keeping my presidential campaign from being a laughingstock, why would I want to take part in something that would just exacerbate the problem. I am however disappointed that I will not have a chance to get Roger Clemens’ autograph. In spite of being a long time Cleveland Indians fan, Roger has always been one of my heroes.”

As expected, Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and Player Representative Donald Fehr had differing views on the hearings. Selig agrees with Waxman that resolution of the drug problem in baseball can have far reaching effects on the other key issues that are facing the country. He believes that if the committee can rid the great American pastime of devil drug, Congress can rid our nation of the threat of terrorism, solve economic issues and increase ticket sales.

Fehr has a less optimistic view of the proceedings. “While I agree with Mr. Selig that the resolution of this problem would certainly increase ticket sales, I find it reprehensible that professional baseball players are being blamed for the faltering economy, the war in Iraq and are being branded as terrorists. The millions of dollars our members are paid each year have nothing but a positive effect on the economy. Whether we are to blame for Iraq or terrorism is well outside the collective bargaining agreement we currently work under.”

Committee hearings will continue until the country in general loses interest in the whole proceedings. It is doubtful that that will be longer than a week.

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